Today has been a rough, rough day. This morning, I was just wasted by such negative feelings. Got home from work and just sobbed as I pleaded with God for something, ANYTHING. Went to therapy (and let me say again how deeply grateful I am to be back with my original therapist), cried through most of it, but JP is very thoughtful and deliberate in what he says. He doesn’t say “cute” things off the cuff like the fiasco therapist did. No, JP actually has a plan, but is also able to take the bad days, like today, and talk me through them.
I have not wanted to tell any more of my friends about my abuse, but I may have to. I don’t have much of a support system and I need one. But, quite honestly, I’m afraid of giving them drama fatigue, and there is always the chance someone will spook and drift away because the knowledge is unpleasant.
What to do, what to do, put some mustard in your shoe…apologies, Ogden Nash.
I’m nearly punchy from so much emotion today.