Yeah…I’m Not Sure I Believe You.
For months now, I have struggled to believe that God loves me unconditionally. Lots of folks have reassured me time and time again that, of course, He does. God loves His children unconditionally, He is love, He is good and He loves us always.
I have been praying to God for this to become a reality in my heart and soul. But I don’t think any of the people who have been telling me it’s true over and over really believe it heart and soul, either.
Wouldn’t the city where I live be drastically different if just a dozen people REALLY believe that God loved us completely and unconditionally? That we believed He was never out to punish us, even just a little? I’m convinced if there were just a dozen folks who believed that within a 15 mile radius, everyone who lived inside that area would know something was radically different.
And here’s my dilemma–if I am going to believe in God the Creator and Father of us all, and Jesus Christ as His son and my salvation, then can I really not believe that He is good, that He loves us unconditionally and unmeasurably? Do we really get to pick and choose what we will believe about God if there are multiple scriptures that tell us His attributes?
I know many Christians differ in what they believe about God. Some even believe (although I don’t know how) that we can lose our salvation. But scripture after scripture tells us God is love, that He loves His children, that He loved us before we even knew Him.
Here’s the kicker–the demons in my flesh are always willing to be so “helpful.” “Oh, you don’t have the faith to believe God loves you unconditionally? Wow, you should really feel bad about that. You’re not a very good Christian.” Helpful…yeah, like the demons of my flesh ever want to help me. It’s such a twisted deal; satan, so willing to agree that REAL Christians are supposed to love God, so I should beat myself up and struggle to accept any grace whatsoever because I’m not a “good” Christian. satan, the father of lies, who can make those lies seem so plausible.
Dearest Father, forgive me. Give me patience and strength to believe the truth. It is overwhelming. But I so want to be undone by it.