Feeling Really Funky…
It’s been a weird day. I feel like something in me has changed overnight and I can’t quite figure out what it is.
I’m feeling sad about my fiasco therapist. He did a great deal to help me, my husband, and us together, so it’s a little depressing that I’ve lost a great deal of trust in him. I think it’s possible I knew a little too much personal stuff about him, too.
I’m going to attend some preliminary classes for a Stephen Ministry. That’s a program where you go through training to be a listener and encourager (NOT a fixer) for someone who asks for that kind of help. I’m really wishing I could go to college and get a counseling degree, but I’m 56 and we have no money for that. My heart aches for borderlines in particular.
It aches, too, for my fiasco therapist. One of his parents was a real piece of work and emotionally abused him when he was little. Since I can identify with being abused as a young kid, and because he is young enough to be my son, I have felt a lot of empathy for him.
I can mourn for him as a little kid, but the adult him screwed up and hurt me and I don’t think I will be able to get past that.
Makes me sad.