How Can I be so Easily Swayed?
It’s been a couple of days since my last post. Monday night I felt so good. My husband and I had a great Memorial day weekend. I believed God had really taught me some things during the week before, and I felt like I was finally having a breakthrough in my spiritual life.
I thought I’d turned a corner.
Today, I am hiding my tears and my confusion with God from my husband; he is very down, and I feel childish to express my sadness in front of him.
My original therapist will not email with an appt. time. I sent him an email last week after the debacle with our current therapist. He responded and it seemed as though I would be able to go back to him. But I’ve emailed twice now, asking for an appt. time, and there has been no response.
My best friend has been very distant since Friday. She sat here in my home last Thursday night and told me how much she loved and cared about me, and now she is very quiet; no email, text or phone call.
I don’t feel like I have the right to ask God for anything anymore. I’ve had a really good life, for the most part. I have two beautiful daughters, three precious grandchildren, with another on the way. I have a home with indoor plumbing and a/c. There is food in the pantry. I spent this afternoon and early evening with my oldest daughter and my three granddaughters; held my 6-week-old granddaughter for over an hour. I love that fuzzy little head on my shoulder–it made me feel like a human being who was really worth something.