Running through my mind…

by irenedavid

During the two weeks I took a sabbatical from this blog, many questions about God have run through my mind, some of them two or three times a day every day.

I was pondering how difficult it is, at times, to believe God is everywhere and mindful of every person on earth. (Typing that just now makes me think how unfathomable that is.)  But I believe the evil one is everywhere and mindful of everyone on earth.  satan always has time for me, so why do I doubt that God does?

How can God have always been?  Where did He come from?  That idea is not logical.  But then neither is the idea that there is no intelligent design behind the earth in it’s orbit, the incredible awesomeness of flowers, trees, mountains, oceans, a newborn baby’s fuzzy head on my shoulder, rainbows, Golden Retrievers, laughter, music, snow, and chocolate.

How can God love me unconditionally and delight in me when my heart is so selfish and downright wicked? But God loved David (adulterer and murderer), Jacob (conniver and liar), Moses (murderer), Peter (hothead and “with a friend like this, who needs an enemy” deny-er.

And how can I still struggle after all these years to believe?