Yikes! Yesterday I went to the psychiatric APN who manages my meds. She asked me how I was doing; I told her I was depressed. Then I mentioned that I had been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and the reaction I got caught me way off guard. (This is someone I have spent about 90 minutes total with since September). She jumped all over my diagnosis and wanted to know who my therapist was. I told her and she wrote down his name. (They are not in the same city).
She said there was no way he could know I was a borderline in less than a year; that it was a horrible diagnosis to saddle someone with. Then she said she thought I might have OCD or be bipolar, but BPD should take a lot longer to diagnose.
After I left there, I sent my therapist a text to tell him that I thought she might call him and I was just sending a heads-up. From there, it went to emails, blah, blah, blah.
BTW, she asked me what his certification was and when I told her, she called him a glorified social worker. Woah!
Psychiatrists and psychologists are a competitive lot. I didn’t realize how much. I think this may be one of the HUGE problems with therapy. If you see therapist A, he/she may tell you one thing. If you talk to therapist B, you may get a different story. That’s why it’s really important to find a good therapist and stick with them for several months at least.
Yesterday was a “dang! calm down” kind of experience. It rattled my cage a little. I’m sure I’m borderline, not as much as I could be, but enough that it has affected my life and my family’s life to a certain degree. There is too much that diagnosis makes me say, “Wow, that’s me,” for me to think it’s an incorrect diagnosis.
BTW, I feel like God has disappeared from my life again. It makes me doubt my faith, even my conversion, because surely I should be more settled in my belief of who He is by now.
Pray for me.