It’s Been Three Days Since I Cried
I’m a little spooked. I’ve had three good days in a row, and haven’t cried. That’s a record for the last nine months. Crying had become so much a part of a “routine” day that it feels weird not to have cried.
I don’t like this–feeling strange for not crying. Kinda like feeling guilty for feeling good. That should give you a clue about how sideways the last nine months has been.
Today, we went out with friends to see a hillside of daffodils that is an attraction in our neck of the woods. It was a beautiful day–a little windy, but sunny. We told and laughed about silly stories. Then we drove to a Chinese restaurant to eat some amazing food and an even more amazing dessert. We had a great time together.
“Normal” has been a stranger for a long while. I’m praying that there are more and more days where I don’t cry, I don’t dread getting out of bed. Maybe someday, I will go through an entire day where I forget about the excruciating pain of this crucible.
I’m not holding my breath, but am grateful for what I’ve had the past three days.