It’s Been Three Days Since I Cried

by irenedavid

I’m a little spooked.  I’ve had three good days in a row, and haven’t cried.  That’s a record for the last nine months.  Crying had become so much a part of a “routine” day that it feels weird not to have cried.

I don’t like this–feeling strange for not crying.  Kinda like feeling guilty for feeling good.  That should give you a clue about how sideways the last nine months has been.

Today, we went out with friends to see a hillside of daffodils that is an attraction in our neck of the woods.  It was a beautiful day–a little windy, but sunny.  We told and laughed about silly stories.  Then we drove to a Chinese restaurant to eat some amazing food and an even more amazing dessert.  We had a great time together.

“Normal” has been a stranger for a long while.  I’m praying that there are more and more days where I don’t cry, I don’t dread getting out of bed.  Maybe someday, I will go through an entire day where I forget about the excruciating pain of this crucible.

I’m not holding my breath, but am grateful for what I’ve had the past three days.